I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
