My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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