I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize