Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
