Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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