I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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