Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
