I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
