Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize