i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
