she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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