every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
