I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
