I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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