porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
