i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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