Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
