I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize
