and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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