I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
