ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
where are my eyebrows?
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