similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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