with your own penis?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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