he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
