WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so let's talk penis.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
