Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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