Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize