well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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