Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
