You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
