New invention idea: vibrating tampons
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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