he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
