her vagine was all disorganized.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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