What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
