i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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