i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
