i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
