went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
