you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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