I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
