you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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