im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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