jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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