im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize
