i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
