I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
