You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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