Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
