I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize