Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
