I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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