Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
