I think I won the penis lottery.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
