Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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