dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
