She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
