thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
