if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
